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Thread: Into the vortex of lost socks.

  1. #1
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    Default Into the vortex of lost socks.

    I had something really weird happen to me today.

    I sometimes wear these Bench socks that I bought at Costco. They are almost like not wearing socks at all. Very low, thin and comfortable and feel like they are almost not there. I had gone to Costco for some grocery shopping and as usual when I got home I changed from my jeans into my sweat pants and from my polo type shirt into a t-shirt. While changing my pants for sweat pants I looked down at my foot and one of my Bench socks was still on my foot. The other was gone. I stood there in one sock and one bare foot. Somehow I had performed a magic trick without ever intending to.

    Usually when my socks disappear, it has something to do with the washing machine or dryer and even there it is always one and not the other and never both. Having a sock disappear right off of my foot is a new experience.

    I have addressed this by buying the same kinds of socks and as socks disappear and reappear it is no longer obvious because I have a dozen pairs of the same type. Sometimes the washer eats socks and burps them up with holes in them. This sacrifice evens out the pairs of socks for one disappeared into the sock vortex and one was destroyed by the eater of socks that resides in the washer and/or dryer. The socks are all clones of each other so it is hard to know where one pair begins and another ends for they are truly interchangeable, but I digress.

    Back to the drama of today. I looked inside the jeans. Nothing. I looked inside the sweat pants. Nothing. I looked around me. Nothing.

    Could there have been a worm hole that opened up and stole a sock off of my foot? It is a perplexing mystery.

    Will the wayward sock return from its adventures a changed creature. What kind of character arc is my freed sock enjoying in some far off dimension. Like the Joseph Campbell Hero will it return with a boon that it can offer the other socks in the sock drawer? Can it return to the ordinary world having experienced such an adventure? If he survives his adventure, will he tell the tale of those far off lands to which he was spirited. Will his mate sitting alone ever gaze into his white lettering? So many unanswered questions.

    The sock will turn up. Or it won't. I suspect he won't have much to say about the experience.

  2. #2
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    I lose more socks (one at a time usually) to getting a hole in the heel of them - I don't have the talent to darn modern store-bought socks (if that's even possible). Since I don't go out and show off my socks too often (unlike Justin Trudeau), sometimes I use two unmatched socks together as a pair to wear, even though they be very different in colour scheme or their lengths.
    There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
    Hamlet (1.5.167-8), Hamlet to Horatio.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kevin Pacey View Post
    I lose more socks (one at a time usually) to getting a hole in the heel of them - I don't have the talent to darn modern store-bought socks (if that's even possible). Since I don't go out and show off my socks too often (unlike Justin Trudeau), sometimes I use two unmatched socks together as a pair to wear, even though they be very different in colour scheme or their lengths.
    I can't say I give my socks that much thought. I tend to buy lots of the same socks, usually at Costco or Walmart.

    On the other hand the disappeared sock of the first post has still not reappeared. Its very puzzling.

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